There Are No Such Things as Ghosts

by Ichabod Crane 

~ schoolmaster and self-proclaimed expert on the supernatural

Some of you may know me as a character from a book called The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Or as an imbecilic cartoon drawn by that that blackguard, Walt Disney. For the record, I am highly insulted by that representation, for as you can see in the photograph of me taken by Miss Fiona Jayde, I look nothing like that silly cartoon.

     I would like to begin by thanking Miss Deanna Wadsworth’s generosity for giving me yet another one of these blogs with which to chat. While I thoroughly enjoy them, I am suspicious that Miss Wadsworth simply does not want to do them herself because she is too busy penning another one of her naughty books. She mentioned a short story called “Secret Santa” where Old Saint Nick might be involved in the debauchery she writes so well. Decadent Publishing  will be releasing the story later this year. I tell you, nothing is sacred with that woman. Such lack of scruples reminds me of Brom Bones. He is a devilish rake that finds great pleasure in doing things he ought not. And though I was loathe to admit it at first, Brom is very good at doing naughty things. So good in fact, I believe he and I may be entering into a business arrangement shortly. Which brings me to my subject today.

     There are no such things as ghosts.

     If you have been following The Ichabod Interviews, you know that over the last two weeks I have been interviewing some interesting though oftentimes mad characters. First there was the woman who claimed to be a vampire succubus. Then a man who wanted me to shoot him because he was made of marble. That gentleman brought along a creepy mannikin who kept interrupting us. There was also the man that turned into a jaguar….I’m not still sure if I hadn’t been drugged. A logical but foul-mouthed FBI agent whose psychic partner talks to dead people and finally a woman dating an invisible man. I asked her if she had a houseful of cats, but she wasn’t too happy.

     After these interviews I have come to this conclusion.

     I was right.

     There are no such thing as ghosts.

     That being said, one must take into consideration the power of imagination. I myself have fallen victim to having my eyes tricked by something that appeared to be supernatural. The terror one feels upon those occasions is quite real, feeding the belief that the apparition, too, is real. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, for it is the imagination conjuring such spooks and goblins. The mind holds a powerful influence over people and if an individual believes something, there is precious little others can do to convince them otherwise. Of course waking up from a terrible ordeal, naked and tied to a bed can alter one’s prospective. Take it from me, I would know.

     In conclusion I would like to say this:   While there are no such things as ghosts, people will always believe in them. As long as there are scary movies, ghost stories being told by a campfire or urban legends to fuel the flames of hysteria and gossip, people will always believe in the supernatural. The rest of us will simply have to nod our heads and play along with them. Because as we all know, it is best not to anger a crazy person.

      On a final note, Miss Wadsworth did ask that I would tell you she is giving away two books today. There will be a random drawing from those who post a comment today to win a copy of Red Riding Hood, the tale of a very loose young girl. Miss Wadsworth will also give away a copy of my personal story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, for the first fan to answer this trivia question correctly:

     In Red Riding Hood, how did the wolf distract Red on her way to Grandmothers?

Deanna will be giving away a e-copy of her books, Red Riding Hood AND The Legend of Sleepy Hollow to the first person who can  answer the trivia question!

~Deanna Wadsworth